Overcoming Jealousy While You Wait for an Australian Partner Visa
You have applied for an Australian partner visa. Now the waiting game begins. Who knows how long your your relationship might have to be long-distance? As the days turn into weeks, uncertainties can creep into your minds. Jealousy is one problem your long-distance relationship might face.
Why is jealousy good?
Jealousy is programmed into us. In terms of survival of the fittest, we need to be bigger, better, and stronger than others. However, in the modern world, jealousy isn’t so helpful. And in long-distance relationships, jealousy can cause conflict between you and your partner.
Jealousy, expressed appropriately, can signal to you and your partner that you do love them. You can help your partner realize that you care about them. However, when you are apart for long periods of time, jealousy can be destructive.
How to overcome jealousy:
First of all, acknowledge that you have these feelings. Discussing your feelings with your partner will help. Explain to your partner the situations where you feel jealous. For instance, if she tells you she is spending time with a male friend, you can explain that you feel uncomfortable with that situation. Or if she is texting someone else while you web chat, you can express that you feel jealous when she divides her time with you.
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You can also ask her if you should have any reason to feel jealous. Let her dialogue and explain her side of things. It is always helpful to seek to understand your partner’s side of things first. Then you can explain your side of things.
Then take action. Even though you may have feelings of jealousy, do not let your actions betray that. Do not act needy. Instead behave as if you do not have jealousy. Findings show that if you “fake it until you make it,” you can actually create positive feelings in yourself. In this situation, if you act upbeat and trusting, you will actually begin to feel that way.
Avoid extremes though. You can’t stick your head in the sand. You don’t want to act completely indifferent because she will think you don’t care how she interacts with others. On the other hand, acting overly controlling or constantly questioning her actions sends the message that you don’t trust her. You have to find a happy medium where you express your feelings of jealousy but then reassure her of your confidence and trust in her.
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Set up guidelines for your relationship. Discuss mutual strategies for protecting your relationship. When you avoid trigger situations, you can manage your jealousy better. For instance, you might decide that your time web chatting or on the telephone is untouchable time. You won’t allow any interruptions. You might decide that you will contact each other at least two times a day to check in. What you should be thinking about is to be together long term you should apply for a partner visa for her.
When you are both on board, you will find that feelings of fear and worry will melt away. You might agree to full disclosure for whatever happens in your lives. Yes, you will go out with friends, but you will be truthful in reporting what happened the night before. Honesty is one of the best ways to overcome jealousy and build trust.
If you need help processing your Partner Visa, contact us. We can help speed and smooth the way so you can be reunited with your partner as soon as possible.